


bruises and scars and scratches and bite marks

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, POV Third Person Limited, Self-Harm, Trans Character, Trans Jared, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, evan tries his best to be supportive but he has no idea what he's doing and honestly same, how do i . tag things., it's been a long time since i wrote something and posted it?? what is this?? wh a?t?, it's not really a happy ending?? but it's not like. extremely sad, jared is trans but it's only mentioned briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-19 01:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11302719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jared had messed up.Though he didn’t see how it was anything new. He might as well just change his middle name to “Fuck-Up”. Jared Fuck-Up Kleinman had a nice ring to it.





	bruises and scars and scratches and bite marks

**Author's Note:**

> tw: self harm, kind of unsafe binding? don't bind for a long time if it's really hot

Jared had messed up.

 

Though he didn’t see how it was anything new. He might as well just change his middle name to “Fuck-Up”. Jared Fuck-Up Kleinman had a nice ring to it.

 

When it was winter, it was no big deal. Sane people wear long sleeves and jackets and sweaters in the winter. Jared had no interest in getting sick, or letting people see his arms, so he wore long sleeves all the time.

Spring came along, and while it was starting to get warmer, long sleeves and light jackets were still acceptable.

 

Then summer came and fucked everyone in the ass. Especially Jared.

 

For a short while, wearing long sleeves was questionable, but okay. Until he was taking a walk with him boyfriend, and nearly passed out from heat.

He was wearing a binder, a t-shirt, a long sleeve over it, and a hoodie over that. Evan practically demanded that Jared that took the layers off, and changed from his binder into a sports bra instead. Jared muttered a joke about how Evan was already trying to get his clothes off before heading into a (disgusting) bathroom at the park they were at. Evan was shocked to say the least. That’s how they ended up in Jared’s bedroom.

Not like that, you kinky shit.

Jared sat on his bed, the taller boy sitting across from him. He stared at the comforter below him, refusing to meet Evan’s eyes. He held his arms out as his boyfriend gently ran his fingers over the bruises and scars and scratches and bite marks. Evan traced a particularly long white scar on Jared’s lower arm. Jared briefly glanced up. Evan was basically examining Jared’s arms, his gaze full of worry. Jared hated to see him worry. He hated to be the cause of that worry.

“It’s no big deal, Ev,” Jared said, forcing a bored tone in an attempt to convince his boyfriend that it really wasn’t a big deal.

Evan’s head snapped up. Jared could tell he was looking at Jared’s forehead instead of his eyes. It was a trick that Jared gave Evan since eye contact made him nervous. “It’s no big deal?! Jared, you…” His voiced trailed off and he glanced back down at Jared’s arms. “Why do you do this to yourself, Jared…?”

He swallowed nervously. He was going to tell Evan and it was going to sound stupid and straight up ridiculous. “It helps ground me, y'know? The biting at least. If I’m panicking or over-stimulated, biting helps ground me. And if I bite too hard, it bruises. You should know that after all the little marks you’ve left on me.” Jared forced a smirk, full aware of how desperate must’ve looked.

Evan didn’t even react to Jared’s “joke”. He traced the long scar again. Jared didn’t have a joke for that one. He didn’t have it in him.

“Depression gets the best of all,” was all he could muster without his voice cracking from the tears he was trying so hard to hold back.

Evan took Jared’s hand in his own, bring his wrist to his lips and softly leaving a kiss. Jared wasn’t crying. He was simply sweating profusely out of his eyes. “Next time you feel like doing this, tell me, please. I don’t care if it’s three in the morning, call me, and I’ll be there for you.”

Evan removed Jared’s glasses, gently wiping the tears off his cheek. His hand stayed there, cupping the side of Jared’s face. Leaning into Evan’s touch, Jared out an ugly sob. Evan pulled Jared close, rubbing circles into his back like Jared did whenever Evan was having an anxiety attack. He wasn’t good with comforting people with words, but luckily for him, Jared was more of a physical comfort guy anyway.

Jared cried into Evan’s shoulder until he couldn’t cry anymore. He pulled back, staying close enough so Evan’s arms were still around him.

“We’ll find you some alternatives to doing this to yourself, okay? I think they make things specifically for biting when you’re over-stimulated.” Evan told Jared.

He nodded, remembering seeing something like that on Tumblr.

 

Evan hugged Jared tightly again, and Jared wasted no time hugging back. Jared felt sure that the urge and desire to cut himself would never really go away. Controlling those urges was something he had to try. He wasn’t okay, but he had to try.


End file.
